Helen's story
Ten years ago, Helen from Worcestershire was a happy, outgoing mother of four who worked as a part-time teacher. She started to experience symptoms of anxiety and depression, but they were unrecognised and untreated. They became worse and eventually she was unable to work and depression took hold of her life: the impact was devastating. However, Helen fought back with professional help and self-help reading. Here, she talks about her journey of recovery.
Everything felt grey
When I first started to have symptoms I didn't know what was wrong with me. I felt tired all the time, had poor concentration and everything seemed pointless. I would wake each morning and wonder how I was going to get through another day. Everything felt grey. Looking back, I'd been coping with too much stress for too long. I tried various herbal remedies, but to no effect. By the time I reached my GP I was very ill indeed.
My first approach was to change jobs, twice within eighteen months. However, this was the worst thing to do, as I was putting myself in new stressful situations. Life was an uphill struggle and I blamed myself.
Eventually, I resigned from my job as I could no longer cope. This left me at home alone, with my husband at work and children at school. I had no structure to my days and felt isolated and increasingly desperate. The mental distress and pain were unbearable and I could see no way forward at all. If I'd tried to find help early on, through talking therapies or other forms of support, I may never have become so seriously ill.
Determined to get well
After many months, ECT was administered, carefully and sensitively, and I was given a combination of medications. Very slowly, my brain started to respond and I became determined that I'd get well for myself and my family, and that I'd find out how to stop this illness from taking hold of me again.
Progress was slow and I took small steps. I worked in the back room of a local charity shop for two mornings a week. As part of my stepped recovery plan for myself, I enrolled on an easy computer course and then an art class. I did have set backs and very grey days, but I kept on going.
Life-changing reading
I started to go to my local library and came across a section of self-help books on all sorts of subjects, including depression. The Books on Prescription scheme was there for me! Here were easy-to-read books that I could dip into for information and strategies to support my recovery. It was life changing. I learned about cognitive behavioural therapy and how to take on board its strategies. I learned that I wasn't alone and that depression wasn't my fault - it wasn't a weakness, but a treatable illness.
I travelled to Birmingham Central Library where there was a larger selection of books and a depression support group once a month. I learned so much from these books - how to raise and maintain my self-esteem, to problem solve successfully, to manage stress and how to take care of myself. I took notes, so I could keep reminding myself of what to do.
Gradually, steadily, I have recovered. Occasionally I have a 'blip' when I'm overloaded by stress, but when I reread my notes and remind myself how to help myself, I feel well, happy and now able to support others. I'm back teaching part-time. My children have grown up to become well-balanced and compassionate young adults.